Frequently asked questions:
Are you from Kansas?
I was born in Wichita, Kan., and moved to North Carolina when I was 3. We lived in various parts of the state and then I went to school in Washington, D.C. Now I live in California. When people ask me where I’m from I don’t always know what to say because my parents don’t even live in North Carolina anymore. So am I from Kansas? Define from . . . (UPDATE: Read my latest post on this topic.)
Your title is in two different tenses. What’s up with that?
Good for you for knowing grammar! I get asked/told this many, many times. The choice was very purposeful. The correct relationship is: “One woman’s dreams are ant-sized compared to what lies ahead,” or “One woman’s dreams were ant-sized compared to what lay ahead.” Why didn’t I stick with one or the other? Why did I mix them? I chose the present tense “are” because I wanted the reader to experience things as I did. To not know what’s coming up because life is in the present moment, which is something I learned explicitly in the time period the book takes place. I chose “lay” because to me it connotes a sense of openness, of expansion. As if there are amorphous good things around the bend but you’re not sure what. “Lies” seems so definite, as in, “a land mine lies ahead.” My life certainly isn’t definite, so for better or for worse I chose “lay.”
What happened with Jai? Are you still talking? How do you feel about him now?
When I stopped pursuing him we stopped talking. At this point we’re barely acquaintances because I have no idea how he’s doing or what’s going on in his life. I still love him very deeply, and probably will for the rest of my life, but I’m not still pining over him. In fact, I’ve finally made peace with the fact I may never get married. You can read my blog post about it here and here. Mostly, I appreciate what he did for me, which was highlight some deep-seated issues. I’ve grown so much as a person just from knowing him, and for that I’m grateful.